The Atomic Drop

A fat guy and a gassed up stiff, neither of whom can move. Great booking, jerks. Was that a “Change the channel” match, Russo?

I’m working on a piece wherein I praise TNA for their great main event program, but crap like this makes the show painful.

I’m skipping Impact. Between being jobbed by a chicken place and this lame opening, no wrestling this week.

Just in time too. This RVD promo is terrible, and the crowd is dead.

Did anyone see No Surrender?

If so, was it as bad as the results make it out to be?

If not, is it at all worth watching? Or can I safely skip this one?

Thank you kindly. Raw notes tonight.

Since TNA isn’t getting a proper go-home show, I’m skipping thoughts posts until after their PPV.

I do have a few things to say about the episode from two weeks ago:

Dixie Carter does not command any respect while dressed like Paris Hilton.

An inordinate amount of time is being spent on men who are old enough to be my father.

That mall vignette was positively horrible. Easily Bischoff’s idea. I was expecting them to encounter

The Guns and The Bucks was really good, but I swear they only got five minutes. Best thing going in TNA and it’s buried under the trials and tribulations of fifty-year olds.

Dear TNA, please stop being worse than Wrestlicious.

Abyss and Jeff Hardy’s neverending brawl

• So to follow up the bloody angle from last week, we get Jeff Hardy’s ass?
• I like the visual of the vacuum cleaner in the ring.
• It would be nice if they had the “Completely Inappropriate” censor box from Wipeout.
• Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, you’re actin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground.
• Who gave the security guys nightsticks?

Eric Bischoff promo

• So a brawl that means nothing, and a Bischoff promo? Not the way to follow up that angle.  They should have a scarred Tommy Dreamer demanding Fourtune to face him like men, not the Ken Doll.
• So why wasn’t Abyss barred from the building?
• A tournament, eh? Why not invite all ten men and give 1 and 2 a bye? Reward the better workers instead of punishing up with bad matches?

TNA World Title Tournament Quarterfinals
The Freak Rob Terry vs Jeff Hardy

• They seem to go back and forth on when Terry will sell. If Kazarian can’t put a dent in him, how can Jeff Hardy?
• It’s okay to have gaps in logic, but not these gaping holes, espeically when it comes to your world title.
• I certainly didn’t believe that they’d make Rob Terry world champion, but they did put him into the tournament.

Hulk Hogan on the phone

• Yes Hulk, please quit!

TNA World Title Tournament
Jay Lethal vs Ken Anderson

• It would be nice if they told us what the hell the current rankings were so I could see how they bracketed it, but no, that would make too much sense.
• Good back and forth action.  With time, this could be a great match.
• Knew Lethal was done after the missed dropkick.
• So Anderson vs Hardy again? I can’t look ahead without a bracket? Can we get a frigging bracket, TNA? Or does your graphics department only do stuff for the damn store?

Angelina Love interview

• There really wasn’t anything to do that.
• If they keep cutting women, there won’t be much of a Knockouts division, will there?

Nice video package on the Machineguns.  Wish I didn’t have to wait another week to see them work again.

TNA Knockouts Championship rematch: Madison Rayne with bodyguard vs Angelina Love with Velvet Skye

• So, is Velvet a babyface now?
• We’ll find out who’s under that helmet as soon as we find out who was driving the white Hummer.
• Really not liking the streaks in Velvet’s hair.
• So, will Velvet get a title shot now?
• I think they just set up a tag match.

Ric Flair and Fourtune promo/Dixie Carter interrupts with EV 2.0

• I guess they’re finally explaining Williams and Morgan’s appearances.
• So the only reason they beat up EV 2.0 is because they don’t like hardcore wrestling?
• Actually, Dixie, that’s a soundstage at Universal, which is owned by NBC. You just rent it, hun.
• So James Maritado gets a contract? And Mamaluke?
• This is a fantastic Foley promo.  And I wish the same thing you do Mick.
• Not looking forward to Tommy and AJ.

Kurt Angle promo

• Um, Kurt, you can’t retain the TNA World Title unless you already have it.  You don’t have it.  You want to “regain” the title.

TNA World Heavyweight Title Tournament Quarterfinals

Douglas Williams vs Kurt Angle

• Doug is one hell of a worker.  Another match I’d want to see with more time.
• Angle’s babyface comeback was the most explosive one I’ve seen him have in a while.
• Wow. Angle blocking Chaos Theory and applying the anklelock was beautiful.  Kurt has been on fire recently.  Hopefully this really is his last big run and he gets a proper retirement. 

Kevin Nash and Sting promo/Jarrett interrupts/Hogan gloms on again/Fourtune kills everyone

• Horizontal stripes? Really Nash?
• With EV 2.0 in the mix, the median age of TNA’s locker room is closer to 50 than ever.
• *snore*
• Actually, ratings are flat since Bischoff and Hogan showed up.
• So this is Fourtune’s new gimmick? Sabu should sue.

Tommy Dreamer, Raven, Stevie Richards and Mamaluke backstage

• So, we’re supposed to believe that Raven and Tommy are on good terms again.
• Mamaluke is all over Impact.

TNA World Title Tournament Quarterfinals
Matt Morgan vs The Pope D’Angelo Dinero

• So, Samoa Joe and Abyss have completely fallen out of the Top 8? As much as I appreciate Abyss not being there, where’s the methodology to explain a fall from 1 to below 8? And wasn’t Joe top 8 two weeks ago?
• I love watching these two.  Morgan has finesse to match his size and Pope is just so fluid.
• Wow, Pope with a huge upset.  That was the best match thus far tonight.

About time we get a bracket.  Hardy vs Angle and Anderson vs Pope.  Nothing new, nothing exciting.

Mick Foley promo

• I like the passion in Mick’s promos recently.
• I also can’t wait for his new book.  I want to hear more about the TNA locker room.

AJ Styles vs Tommy Dreamer

• Couldn’t they do a Jimmy Hart version of Man in the Box? Would it have been that difficult?
• Not much to say about the match so far.  It’s a major mismatch, but it’s watchable.  I could have done without Tommy’s cut getting reopened.
• Wait, how did AJ fall out of the top eight as well?
• Utter clusterfuck.  And that kid had a Justin Bieber haircut.  Parents, if you love your children, don’t let them cut their hair like Justin Bieber.

I did get to see Hardcore Justice.  Really didn’t find it worth writing about.  It was good, but it could have been much better.  It was fun to see ECW spots, but not as fun as it was five years ago.

So, let’s fast forward to TNA’s actual programs culminating in this special.  It looks like they’re starting us off with a bang.

Kurt’s Quest

#7 Kurt Angle vs #6 AJ Styles

• They only thing bugging me about this match is that the TV title should have been on the line.  This is a TV.  The way to get around the title change? Make it only on the line in the first ten minutes, have Kurt win in 12-15.
• Wonderful suplex on the outside.  He could have thrown AJ into the first row if he wanted to.
• I’d like to watch Reaction, but my plate is pretty full at this point.  Might try to DVR it and not write it up.
• Can’t get behind that chinlock.  AJ wasn’t making it look good.
• They had me after the Pele.  Tight near fall.
• Kurt Angle is too old for moonsaults.  And yes, so was Terry Funk when he did them.
• Angle looked done after that springboard inverse DDT to the point that the Angle Slam looked horrible.  Angle’s stamina isn’t where it was when these guys had those amazing matches years ago.
• That being said, it wasn’t bad for what it was.  Good opener, but both these guys deserve better.
• I guess AJ got the TV title as a reward for getting jobbed down the card.

Knockouts Championship: Angelina Love vs Madison Rayne

• The Taz line about signing up to be the second rope was great.
• This is an interesting pairing.  Angelina came up through WWE Developmental. Madison was an indie star, stopping at the pinnacle of female work, Shimmer.  So a Diva-in-training and actual wrestler.
• That last note explains why this match is miserable.
• And here comes the woman everyone thinks is Mickie James.
• That bit was more interesting than the match.  And velvet looks better than anyone thus far.

Is it wrong that I couldn’t care any less about Hogan’s surprise? Does anyone remember when TNA promised a surprise every week? (Note: Of course not.  Most of you were barely ten years old when TNA started.  I’m miserably old.  Are you guys coming to my thirtieth birthday party?)

WWE Castoff Three-Way Match (Okay, it’s not called that, but I can dream, right?):

Ken Anderson vs Matt Morgan vs The Pope D’Angelo Dinero

• I’m going to take this opportunity to say fuck Randy Orton. Randy was concerned about his spot so he faked an injury and got Ken Andreson fired.  Randy’s a hell of a talent, so he should have had nothing to worry about.  I’m sure he’s a great guy otherwise as well, but Ken Anderson should be in a real company, not wrestling other WWE castoffs in Florida, so fuck Randy and his moment of selfishness last year.
• Cue the unfollows in 3, 2, 1 …
• Hey, I did put Randy over last night.  I can’t be too high on anyone :)
• Three-way matches are usually pretty lousy and this one hasn’t been much different.
• Matt Morgan chilling in front of the Puerto Rican flag is a fantastic visual.
• As was Morgan stealing the match.
• Crap overall.  A proper elimination match might have been better.  Perhaps given more time on PPV they could have done something with it.
• The best part was Anderson’s entrance.  He owns that crowd, more than Hardy, more than Angle, more than Joe, more than RVD.

Open Challenge Match: Jeff Hardy vs ???? Shannon Moore

• Didn’t Shannon carry Jeff’s bags? Wait, doesn’t he still carry his bags? (Note: Tenay mentioned later that they arrived together, so yes, there is still bag carrying going on.)
• I have to wonder if Shannon walks around in rural Carolina like that.  They’d probably have him committed.
• I wonder if these guys are wrestling the same match they did repeatedly in OMEGA.
• Mostly spots, but I wouldn’t want to see anything else form these two.  I gather they were inspired by RVD and Sabu.
• Moore is looking better than he has in a while.  I gather Hardy is the only one willing to give him his offense.
• Very southern match: two Carolina boys and a thief from Virginia.
• When Hardy went for the Swanton I threw my arms up.  Hardy getting a win after two moves makes him more ridiculous than John Cena.
• Okay, so he gets it after four moves.  I guess that was an audition for a possible singles push for Moore.  I liked the Moore offense.  He looked really good in this match, and he hasn’t looked that good since WCW.

Best of Five Series for the TNA World Tag Team Championship

Two Out of Three Falls Rubber Match: Beer Money vs The Motor City Machine Guns

• By the way, the Ultimate X match was as good as that cage match.  Sad to see that they’ve run out of gimmicks for the rubber match.
• Also by the way, I just made a fantastic cup of coffee.
• And already we’re there.  Such great work and they’ve barely locked up.
• I could watch Shelley and Roode all day long.
• It’s subtle, but I’ve noticed that all of the Guns’ tandem offense revolves around having larger opponents.  It’s fantastic to see and it shows how well these two can adapt.
• I really have to think these four were pissed about getting bumped from PPV for a bunch of forty year-old retirees and decided to steal every show they appear on.
• And I’m so glad they came to that decision.
• Sick looking DWI for the first fall.
• About time the Beer Money chant worked against them.
• Short, but fast and exciting second fall.
• Damn, that’s twice Sabin’s been planted on the apron.
• I’m very much a fan of the indie show “Everyone does a dive” spot.
• Double stomp-tree of woe combo? Yes, please!
• I damn near fell off the couch from after the springboard DDT.  He went half way across the damn ring! Amazing near fall!
• This match is too exciting.  It should have a warning label.
• Mrs. Atomic is sleeping.  Any more exiting and I might end up waking her.
• These men will have to kill each other.
• Thankfully, they didn’t.  Motor City is the real deal.  I’ve liked these guys for years, and they’re finally getting the push they deserve.
• Taz is right.  The last three matches are all MOTY candidates.  This match was truly the best match I’ve seen this year.
• So glad they got time on a show where most of the matches seemed compressed.  They should sell a DVD with all these matches uncut.  I’d probably even pay money to see them again.

Stairway to Janice for the World Heavyweight Championship: Abyss vs Rob Van Dam

• Your special guest referee and man who doesn’t understand the wrestling business as it stands today and that most of his best talent came from Ring of Honor and who can go fuck himself right away is Eric Bischoff.
• Good way to start the match hot.  RVD should have landed on Bischoff.
• Have any stairway matches started with the ladder ready to go right in the middle?
• RVD now joins the ranks of the handful of wrestlers who have had a major show named for them: Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, The Rock, The Undertaker and D-Generation X.  If I missed anyone, please let me know.
• Thankfully they appear to be avoiding this becoming a full-scale garbage match.
• If anyone is bumping off that mace, it’s Abyss.  RVD and Bischoff are not taking puncture wounds.
• Okay, RVD might take tacks.  Dunno about glass.
• Okay, the glass isn’t real.  Won’t be terrible for Rob.
• I wish Abyss wasn’t so limited.  His big bump is grazing tacks and fake glass.  Oh boy.
• RVD has been a bump machine.
• Phony barbed wire was well? Abyss grabbed it with a bare hand and didn’t even wince.  Right after an ECW style show, this just looks horrible.
• That Rolling Thunder would have looked better if Abyss took it full on.
• Thus far, this is less interesting than the SummerSlam main event.
• Off the ladder onto the ladder didn’t look great either.  Probably because Rob got caught up in the ropes.  Perhaps this leads to Rob taking time off?
• So Abyss lets go of the mace and it falls down? It wasn’t actually caught in the buckle? This match is horrible.
• Thought it might be redeemed by this upcoming Van Terminator.  Somewhat.
• That was the best looking spot of the match.  About time something clicked.
• Beer Money and MCMG should have closed the show.
• Can Abyss not be number one contender any longer? I’m tired of this guy and his poor workrate, even his own kind of matches.

Hogan’s Big Surprise/EV 2.0 and Tommy Dreamer promo/Fourtune beats down everyone/Abyss “carves up” RVD backstage

• Well, it’s no surprise that that Hogan has glom all over everything.
• Rather typical Hogan promo.  Put people over, then change the subject.
• If anything, Terry, TNA is number 3.
• Yes, Tenay, another curtain call that Hogan has to stand in the middle of and suck up everyone’s heat.  I’m tired of seeing that.
• Wait, when did Matt Morgan get in Fourtune?
• Was Sandman not drunk enough to be ready to help the boys?
• Wait, Douglas Williams is in Fourtune as well?
• Hmm, more phony looking stuff with Abyss.  I guess that leads to RVD’s time off.
• That was a pretty brutal beatdown.  Hopefully the claim isn’t that Fourtune hates hardcore wrestling, as that was the most violent thing I’ve seen in ages.
• I wonder how much aspirin the boys swallowed beforehand.  That was a lot of blood.  Mrs. Atomic is lucky she didn’t see that.  Even I’m a bit skeeved.

Caught the beginning of Reaction on my recording.  Looks like it might be worth checking out.

Fun show, with a crummy main event and a really great closing angle.  My adrenaline is still leveling out from the Beer Money vs MCMG match.  So amazing.

TNA has finally done something, albeit a little too brutal, to entice me to actually keep watching.  Could be interesting to see where all this goes.

Just noticed in the footage from Reaction that Robert Roode had a hockey stick.  That’s a wonderful throwback to his Team Canada days.  Was anyone watching then? Give me some feedback and let me know.

TNA has come a long way.  Hardly recognizable from the high quality technical work they used to exhibit, but they also have a better locker room.  I’m sure Angle, Styles and Joe are happy they aren’t carrying the entire company these days.

Tommy Dreamer and the Philadelphia Five promo/Brother Ray confrontation/Hogan gloms onto something else he has nothing to do with/Abyss kills it all again.

• EV 2.0? Sounds like an olive oil brand.
• Wait a minute.  TNA has old guys talking about stuff that happened 15 years ago that nobody cares about any more. Nothing has changed since January.
• Are Rhyno and Raven going to get to talk ever?
• So, they’re already in hot water for saying ECW.  Why exacerbate things by calling Ray “Bubba?”
• This will be a reverse of the original Dudley feud, assuming they hook up.
• EV 2.0 does not work as a chant.
• If we’re going to light someone on fire, can it be Hogan?
• I’d pay good money to see Tommy and Raven shoot all over Hogan next Sunday.
• Notice how quickly Hogan changed the subject?
• Dammit, doesn’t Abyss need any time off?
• So, are “they” tangible, or is this more of Abyss being crazypants?
• ♫ He’s our guest, he’s our guest, Abyss is a worse worker than Test. ♫

The Beautiful People bicker

• That is the worst set ever.  It looks like something out of a bad PSA.
• There are strip clubs in Orlando with less body glitter.

Number One Contender: Sarita vs Angelina Love

• This match better be as light on action as I expect it to.  I have roasted pine nut hummus and pita chips, and I’d rather pay attention to them than these two poor workers.
• I think I’d like Sarita to go over.  Shake up the division a bit.
• Oh well.  Match was terrible.  My hopes for a better Knockouts match is dashed.  At least the hummus was good.

When did OJ start hanging out with EY? EYOJ? OJEY? He hehe: Oh, hey! I win.

At least OJ wasn’t making a mockery of bisexuality again.

This is why TNA’s taping schedule sucks: Internationally, fans knew about the EY bump that started his new program.  Because TNA tapes a boatload of episodes at once, they basically ignore EY for weeks and then throw him out there, doing the new gimmick, with no rhyme or reason.  Then a half-assed explanation is tossed off.

I get that you folks want to save money, but thriftiness at the expense of good storytelling is not the way to go.

Ink Inc. vs Orlando Jordan and Eric Young

• Poor Val.  She really deserves better.
• The mannequin is the second coming of Moppy.  Which was the second coming of Pepe.
• If they let someone count a pin on the mannequin, I’m shutting this off.
• That wasn’t remotely amusing.  Santino and Vlad are comedy wrestling.  This is just dreck.

Ric Flair and Fourtune promo/Kurt Angle interrupts

• This is just painful.
• When does Desmond Wolfe show up pissed?
• Beer Money needs suits.  They look silly in tights and tees next to Flair, Kaz and AJ.
• When you take potshots at the competition, you come off as petty.
• So will the make a new belt that doesn’t say “Global” on it?
• Will the TV title have time limits?
• Why not say which hotel Ric? Embarrassed to be at the Red Roof Inn?
• I’m starting to get into Kurt’s Quest.  Much better than him kissing military ass.

Best of Five Series

Beer Money leads 2-0

Tag Team Championships are on the line

Steel Cage Match: Beer Money vs The Motor City Machine Guns

• Why does TNA have such an ugly cage?
• That’s a little quick for a blade job in a cage.  Ruins the mystique.
• Roode is bleeding a gusher.  Ugh.
• Chris Sabin looks great and the ring, and quite handsome clean shaven.  Just saying.
• Is the Sliced Bread Number 2 attempt where Shelley got hurt?
• I guess Shelley did pay attention when he was in Ring of Honor.  That was a lovely double stomp.
• Damn.  They had me after that powerbomb/lungblower combo.  Thought it was over.
• Huge cross body.  That was Sabin saying “Take our program off PPV, we’ll show up every match on it in one fell swoop.”
• That was fantastic.  A great match that didn’t have a shit finish.  The bad memories from the first two matches is erased.  Kudos to these two teams.  Glad we’ll be seeing more matches in this series.

Matt Morgan promo as Ken Anderson/Ken Anderson interrupts/Jeff Hardy makes the save

• Cute bit.
• This is a comedy or errors.  I love it.
• I’m a bit sad that Anderson and Morgan have fallen down the card, but I’m quite behind this feud.  Gives the WWE castoffs a chance to show what could have been.
• So which streets are meaner: Fairfield’s or Greenwich’s?
• Hartford has some really mean streets.
• Anderson wins at catching mics.  I win at Connecticut jokes.
• Amusing anecdote: Matt Morgan was heavily supported by Jim Cornette.  Ken Anderson’s biggest cheerleader was Paul Heyman.  Jim and Paul dislike each other personally and, to a lesser extent, professionally.
• Well, I think it’s amusing.  Not as much amused by nut shots and cable chokes.
• So, where was security when Morgan was strangling Anderson? I swear, the heels have the security guys on their payroll.
• Or they’re in business for themselves.  Either way, they suck.
• Damn, D-Lo got fat.

Jeff Anderson and Jeff Hardy interview

• Ken, the “Asshole” shirt would be better if it were set in Helvetica.

Kazarian with AJ Styles vs The Freak Rob Terry

• Swansea is not as cool as Cardiff.  So sayeth the Torchwood geek.
• When did Terry start selling?
• Never mind.  He wasn’t selling.  It was more of a wince before he killed Kaz.

Handicap Match: Matt Morgan, Murphy and Gunnar vs Jeff Hardy and Ken Anderson

• Nothing special.  Just furthers Anderson and Morgan.

We’re really going to freak out about a TV special with your crappy Hard Justice card, Hogan?

Eric Bischoff and Miss Tessmacher announcement/Abyss interrupts/Rob Van Dam makes the save

• Eric’s hair is long again.  When does the brown Ken doll hair come back?
• You don’t give us PPV quality action on PPV.  I’m supposed to believe you’ll do so on Impact?
• Well, that cage match was PPV quality.
• A blueprint? Is Abyss an architect now?
• Nobody is taking a bump from that mace on basic cable.  I can promise you that.
• Honestly, if I were RVD, I’d have let Abyss maim Bischoff.
• Yeah, Abyss is afraid of Pat Kenny and D-Lo with chairs.  Sure.

Hardcore match with no DQ and legal weapons: Tommy Dreamer vs Abyss

• Isn’t this technically just a Monster’s Ball match?
• By the way, kids, no matter what WWE and TNA try to tell you, ECW wasn’t all trash matches.  Hardcore is really about good wrestling, not chair shots and table bumps.  I promise you that.
• For all the hype, this has been terrible.  A retired guy who’s limited to being with vs the worst worker on the roster.  Fantastic main event guys, really.
• Boo.  Wanted the Spicolli Driver on the barbed wire.  I’ve a feeling we will see the Black Hole Slam on it though.
• Chokeslam.  I was close.
• See.  Nobody’s bumping off that mace on basic cable.
• Damn, Raven is horribly balding.  Good to see the revival of Dreamer vs Raven.
• Too bad Raven only has one episode of Impact to recruit followers for The Nest.  Might be a good role for Eric Young.

Still not excited for Hardcore Justice.  I’d like to see a card and potentially some interesting gimmicks.  Dreamer vs Raven isn’t enough to make me spend $40.

Global Championship: Rob Terry vs AJ Styles

• Are we really starting off with Rob Terry? Seriously? This is the last guy AJ should be working.
• Tree trunk legs? Really Taz?
• No pop for the military press slam.
• Are we really not rid of Bischoff?
• First ever two time Global champ.  Amusing.

Of course Dixie invited them.  Raven can’t afford to fly to Orlando if he’s not working.

Is there a babyface in the Beautiful People breakup?

Taylor Wilde and Angelina Love vs Sarita and Madison Rayne

• Hebner shouldn’t be allowed to talk.
• 100% pure hatred and 100% fake boobs.
• Who the crap is left in the locker room?
• I’d make a Rick Rude joke, but I’ll refrain.

Kurt Angle vs Supermex Hernandez

• Another mismatch.  Must be the theme.
• Super belly-to-belly looked sweet.
• Lots of power, but little finesse in this match.  Even  the moonsault looked nasty.
• Great build to the ankle lock  Great stuff.

 

Kevin Nash promo/Jeff Jarret confrontation

• I humbly ask your permission to skip everything related to this angle in the future.  Please?

Watch it Kurt, or they’ll crucify the Sandman again!

Samoa Joe vs Jeff Hardy (Time limit draw. Yes, really.)

• Did Joe and Jeff really not wrestle last time Jeff came through?
• Sorry Mike Tenay, but wrestling purists have moved past Hardy at this point.
• Thanks for the giant banner over this much hyped match.
• Hearing from Bischoff was the opposite of cool.
• Jeff, you’re supposed to let the kick hit you before you fall down.
• I will be very sad when Hardy goes over.  Joe deserves better.
• Haven’t seen a pixelated middle finger since Sunday Night Heat.
• Nicest STF I’ve seen in a while. Take notes, Cena.
• Wait, there’s a time limit? Is this WCW Saturday Night all of a sudden?
• The whole point of a draw was for heels to retain titles.  It shouldn’t be used to cut off a great match between two guys the fans care about.
• Other than that ugly phantom kick, Jeff looked good tonight.

 

The Blueprint Matt Morgan vs Ken Anderson

• TNA should create a “Mishandled by WWE” division.  With its own title.
• Anderson looks so emaciated since he quit taking steroids.
• Really digging the elbow spot in the corner.
• Damn, who did Morgan piss off?
• Nice of the camera to miss the post match beatdown.

Best of Five Series:

Street Fight: Beer Money vs The Motor City Machine Guns

• I’m still confused by the concept of “Tennessee Cowboy.”
• Only words to describe that running drop-kick: fucked up.
• Kneepads over the jeans.  Classic.
• When did Alex Shelly get so handy with a Kendo stick?
• And all the Hebners are dead.
• Taz, are you saying Beer Money could have gotten away with more with the refs knocked out during a street fight?
• So MCMG win three straight?
• Between the screwy finish and Taz being annoying, that’s another match I should have liked that I hate.

Team 3D do some yelling

• Uh, yeah, why did we do this again?

Rob Van Dam interview

• Rob, we agree that you’re an artist.  But you’re portraying an athlete.  Please keep that straight.
• Damn, ramble much?

Instead of talking about it, just throw Dixie out there.  Please, end this train wreck.

Did Dixie change her shirt?

Dixie Carter explains it all/ECW alumni introduced/Mick and Tommy speak

• Dixie has theme music?
• She’s no Cary Silkin, but she’s much easier on he eyes.
• Raven and Mick Foley are “gentlemen?”
• Raven got fattttt.
• So Mick gets to speak for everyone?
• Of course it wasn’t about paychecks.  Checks bounced.
• Tommy’s a homeboy.  I started my life in Yonkers, New York and still have ties to it today.
• What, no shout out to Tammy?
• Tommy was always a good promo, even if I think his passion for TNA is forced.
• Mrs. Atomic and I agree: Foley needs a haircut.
• Tommy, we already had one night.  We had a few nights.  Another night is unnecessary.
• I do wish they had the rights to “This is Extreme!” by Harry Slash.  Would have made a sweet finish.

Didn’t see the PPV, so I figure this is a good place to start up again.

How many of you guys were and when the real ECW was open?

I understand the rankings now, but I can’t understand why Abyss is still in title contention..

Abyss and a side of beef promo

• Yuck.
• I hate these camera angles. Very disorienting.
• Yeah, this will sell PPV.
• RVD will not take a bump off that mace.

Sarita and Taylor Wilde fight

• So, who’s the heel?
• Does anyone care about these two?
• Well, now it’s a match.  I guess we have to care for a few minutes.

Street Fight: Taylor Wilde vs Sarita

• The crowd sold that bottled water spot hard.  Did they think it was from the Gulf?
• Taylor, honey, no bra with that top.  Pasties and tape.  Ask Francine and Tammy.
• Taz enjoys hanging lampshades.  Well played, Peter.
• The people behind Sarita looked disturbed.

Rob, you don’t get intimidated because you’re always high.

Miss Tessmacher and Kevin Nash

• Why?

I Quit Match: Brian Kendrick vs Douglas Williams

• I’ve seen both these guys in the old Rexplex.  Brings back memories.
• He’s a loner, Dottie.  A rebel.
• This isn’t bad at all.  The gloves are a nice touch.
• Great finish.  Quite pleased with Kendrick’s push.
• Is this the return of Kevin Nash, cruiserweight bully? Aw, shit.

Kevin Nash promo/Jeff Jarrett confrontation

• This is Kevin’s Sunset Boulevard moment.
• “I’m ready for my push, Mr. Russo.”
• And Jarrett just reminds Nash of how worthless he is.
• Didn’t I delete all my late 90’s WCW videos? I guess not.
• Kevin, who the fuck has called you the greatest worker in this business?

Christ, there’s a lot of Shop TNA ads.

So Nash will be pumping Miss Tessmacher for information, so to speak?

Three-way dance: Desmond Wolfe with Chelsea vs Samoa Joe vs The Freak Rob Terry

• Joe and Terry work damned stiff.
• Remember when Desmond Wolfe was in title contention? Me neither.
• We’ll be back to Joe and Angle for the world title by year’s end.  Mark my words.

Does anyone care about what Ric Flair has to say any longer?

Best of Five Series:

Ladder Match: Beer Money vs The Motor City Machine Guns

• It was their dream to be TNA Tag champs? Crappy dream.
• The Guns attempted to bring logic to a ladder match, then James Storm fucked that all up.
• I hope whoever wins picks Judy Bagwell on a Pole match.
• This is positively brutal.  Would be perfect if James Storm had a clue.  Then again, he is from Tennessee.
• Leave it to TNA to have a screwy finish in a ladder match.  That killed it.

Matt Morgan vs The Pope D’Angelo Dinero

• WWE dropped the ball on both these guys.  How long until TNA does the same?
• Short and sweet.  Odd for Morgan to do that quick a job.
• Nice of Ken Anderson to show up.  He fits this category as well.

Madison Rayne promo/Beautiful People interrupt/Angelina Love ruins the moment

• Madison, hun, Hogan and Bischoff have spent all the money.  No point in suing Dixie and Bob.
• No need for dumb blonde pills.  The peroxide does all the work.
• There aren’t enough fake tits in this segment.
• No centaur ass, not Mickie James.  Have to wonder who that is.

Jay Lethal vs Jeff Hardy

• Do the ECW guys always show up late out of old habit?
• My wife (let’s start calling her Mrs. Atomic) likened Jeff Hardy to Heath Leger’s Joker, minus the lipstick.
• That would have been better if Jeff decided to try.

Ric Flair promo/AJ and Kazarian get into Fourtune/Desmond Wolfe interrupts/Abyss makes it painful/RVD puts me on multiple lines/ECW guys make the save

• That’s one way to do exposition.
• About time, Abyss.  Maybe ask Sting to tell us his big secret as well?
• RVD never did trash matches.  This doesn’t bode well.
• This has become a much cooler angle.
• I’m willing to bet that most TNA fans never saw ECW, but it popped the old school fan in me.
• That being said, Hardcore Justice will likely be the worst PPV since WWE Great American Bash 2004.  Sad face.

Is Shannon Moore on the top contender list? Wouldn’t surprise me.

Pretty sure Kurt would have preferred more than four weeks off.

Eric Bischoff and Ms. Tessmacher list the Top Ten Contenders and then get beat up by Sting

• I’m pretty sure EGOT is more coveted than the TNA World Title. Most coveted title in all entertainment indeed.
• .75 million. That’s it?
• How was Eric able to tame Samoa Joe?
• Shouldn’t The Pope be ranked higher? And how are Pope, Abyss and Wolfe standing on the same stage without incident?
• As much as I like Ken Anderson, he shouldn’t be ranked higher than people who have won on PPV.
• Doesn’t Hardy own a fucking suit?
• So after a month off, Angle’s second in line for a title shot? Must be nice.
• Aside from Sting, the heels all look stylish.
• “We want a recount?” Pretty sure the fan vote either didn’t actually count, or they were entirely marginalized to fit the desired booking, as always. Silly TNA fans, thinking Bischoff, Hogan and Carter care about what they think.
• Sting hates guys named Jeff. At least it’s not blond guys named Chris.
• I’m sure green hair will really endear you to a jury, Jeff.
• So is Sting getting the favor returned? Or will he actually put Rob over properly this time?

What was with all the shots of skanks in the crowd?

Hogan, Bischoff and Matt Morgan backstage

• Gee, you didn’t think Sting would do something like that? Do you watch your own show? Morons.

Roxxi vs Madison Rayne

• A women’s match with a clean pin in TNA? And it didn’t suck? No way! Roxxi doesn’t look bad at all.

Desmond Wolfe and Chelsea backstage

• That was blah.

Kurt Angle finally shows up

• Why do the camera guys ask questions.  Where are Borash and Hemme?

Why are they bothering with the Angle video package when he’s about to do a promo?

Kurt Angle promo

• Kurt, your TV still has a tube?
• So who shows up to knock Kurt for being old?
• Another “difficult time,” Kurt? Doesn’t this happen annually now?
• We’ve seen most of the matches Kurt describes:

 

 

 

• So Kurt has some work ahead of him to turn matches we’ve already seen into the best matches we’ve ever seen.

 

Ric Flair and Beer Money interview/Kazarian interrupts

• Hoomilliate?
• Ugh.  Horrible promo, nonsensical visit from Kazarian and now I can’t unthink about Flair boning Hemme.

Rob Terry promo

• He doesn’t sound convincing or tough.
• He’s much better mute.

Orlando Jordan vs The Freak Rob Terry

• OJ is wearing slightly less eye makeup than Jeff Hardy.
• Well, at least there’s psychology.
• It took Orlando Jordan to slow down Rob Terry? If only anyone cared about OJ.  Then, and only then, would this mean something.

Jay Lethal promo/RVD drops in

• It’s weird seeing Jay Lethal as Jay Lethal again.
• Did RVD really just demand to be Lethal’s partner?

Jeff Hardy promo

• Blah.

Ink Inc confronts Team 3D

• Yeah, really not looking forward to this.  Neither Moore nor Neal have enough going for them for Team 3D to make them.

Beer Money vs Jay Lethal and Rob Van Dam

• Shouldn’t Lethal be Hydro again tonight?
• Lethal is a bump machine.  My wife keeps wincing at the back bumps.
• Why is RVD wrestling in a shirt?
• Roode just did Lethal a huge favor in putting him over clean.
• I guess RVD is just going to stand there while Flair and Lethal hit each other.
• Oh, we was literally standing around just to get jumped by Sting.  I hate when they do that, which is practically every week now.

Jeff Hardy promo

• I’m pretty sure the Creatures of the Night was the name of Undertaker fans first, Jeff.

Desmond Wolfe turns over Chelsea to Abyss

• Poor Desmond Wolfe.  Saddled with this crappy angle.
• Uh, Abyss, Desmond doesn’t have Chelsea.  The goons took her.  Don’t you watch the monitor?
• I like that portions of the crowd popped for Desmond not honoring the stipulation.
• I saw the stitches from that gash.  Nasty cut.
• Couldn’t Abyss grab her with the non-gashed arm?

Eric Young and the Band promo

• EY, Hall and Nash are not only twice your age, but they’re a foot taller than you.  You have very little in common with them.

Eric Young vs Shannon Moore

• Eh.  Nice to see a piledriver used as a finish, I guess.
• Nice of them to cut away from the post-match angle.

X-Division Battle Royal: Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Amazing Red, Max Buck, Jeremy Buck, Kazarian, Homicide and Brian Kendrick

• Too quick to really be anything great.  Sequence at the end with Kendrick returning and his spots with Kazarian weren’t bad.
• I guess they pulled the X-Title off Kaz to elevate him into the World Title mix.  Hopefully he and Angle have a good match, which I’m guessing is booked for Sacrifice.

Sting vs Jeff Hardy

• Jeff Hardy is TNA’s John Cena.  In more ways than one.
• This hasn’t been good.  A limited, drug addled flippy flop guy vs a limited older worker who can’t work flippy flop.
• Oddly, the Ken Anderson interference saved this match.  The respect for Hardy bit adds a neat wrinkle and a lot of intrigue to their feud, which is the only feud I care about right in TNA right now, despite that I’m down on Hardy these days.

Another lousy Impact.  I liked the Knockouts match, but that’s about it.  They set up some things for Sacrifice, kicked off the next Knockouts feud and spent the rest of the show wasting our time.

There didn’t appear to be any follow up on Lacey’s action’s last week, so protecting the ugly didn’t get her burned.  They also completely forgot about Matt Morgan after he got his tag title rematch from Hogan.  No vignette with him looking for a partner? No announcement for when the match will be?

They also didn’t explain how the top ten rankings actually work.  If Sting beats RVD, does RVD become the number one contender? Does he just get a rematch and AJ Styles become number one? If Kurt Angle beats Kazarian, does he become number ten? If Desmond wrestles Abyss and wins, does he move up? If he loses, does he move down? Can Kazarian wrestle AJ and jump up to number two by winning? TNA needs to explain the system better.

Good model that makes sense: The Ring of Honor Pick Six.  It’s a bit wonky, but it has worked, especially to elevate Davey Richards.